If any other employee was as accurate in their work as a
weather man they would not have a job, keep a job, get a good job reference…
ever work long enough to collect unemployment and… be a burden to society. Yet we
all rally around the television every evening waiting, watching in anticipation
to what he will say and planning our lives accordingly.
Some pay lots of money and dial 1-900-whatever to hear what
Madam Know-It-All will predict for their future so they know what tomorrow will
bring. Or they go to these little bitty
houses with dark curtains so the lady with beads and big hoop earrings can read
their palms for $50 so they can plan all of their tomorrows, when all they need
to do is listen to the weather man, who will lie to you for free, (unless you
have cable or satellite in which it would take a mathematical genius to figure
the actual cost).
The thing is… Madam Know-It-All, the lady with the beads and
big hoop earrings, and the weather man are laughing all the way to the bank. Both make a pile of money by telling you what
they call ‘the future’. Sure, occasionally
they get some things right. You really might meet a tall handsome stranger,
with a 0% chance of rain, and have a long life too… but then again, you might
meet a pudgy troll, die of a heart attack and your body could float away in a
flash flood.
How do these people get away with it?
Well, in some places the lady with the beads and hoop
earrings can do her thing legally, all she needs is a business permit. If it’s not legal in her area she goes
underground and is only known by word of mouth, but this alone can increase her
fee… after all black market predictions cost more.
Madam Know-It-All can either work in an office with 25 other
women all named Madam Know-It-All on the up and up… just call 1-900-123-4567 and
Madam Know-It-All, Inc. collects $9.95 from your Visa or MasterCard, or she can
live in undisclosed location and collect the $9.95 from your phone bill through
some strange banking process I do not understand.
The weather man… Ah, the weather man, he’s a different kind
of animal. The weather man, he has to go
to school a couple years… sweet talk his way into some TV station manager’s ear
and BAM! He collects a decent salary and
can tell blatant lies at will… all in good legal standing.
How do people like
this even live with themselves?
Why do people like us believe them?
We all are hoping for a better tomorrow or at least want to
be able to plan for one. If it isn’t
going to happen tomorrow, we want to know if it’s in the 7-day forecast or
not.
We want hope.
Some of us want it so bad we will pay $50 bucks/$100 on the
black market for the lady with the beads and hoop earrings.
Some of us want it bad enough to pay Madam Know-It-All, Inc.
$9.95
Some of us are a little more “realistic” when listening to
lies, and though we want to believe, we aren’t gonna part with the cash to do
so, so we tune in at 5, 6, and 10 every night to get our hope for free (or
almost, depending on the cost of cable or satellite).
For me… I’m a hopeless case… A cheapskate mind you. I just keep
an umbrella handy and don’t worry about it.
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