It's My Mom's Fault

My Mom is to blame.  Actually if you ask her I’ve blamed her for everything all my life (exaggeration), but this really IS her fault.  Moms are especially easy to blame, actually PARENTS really are at fault… Look what parents have done (or not done) in raising their children.  For generations and generations civilization has been rolling down hill.  Any generation could have stopped the madness, but you can see that not a single generation has stepped up to the plate to do anything about it, and every generation that has come before is the fault of the past generation.  It IS the parents fault.  

Come to think of it, I’m a parent too.  Everything hasn’t fully unfolded yet and the jury is still out, but I’m pretty sure at some point my kids will say “It’s my Mom’s fault”.  I’m pretty sure they are right as I’m a pretty screwed up individual.  At times I’ve went out of my way to screw up.  Not intentionally mind you, but I’m pretty good at it just the same.  When it comes down to it I suppose this entire phenomenon of society’s decline is due to multi-generational dysfunction.  Yep we are all dysfunctional in one way or another and some are more so than others.  I won’t tell you how high I rate on the dysfunction scale.  Let’s just say I have always been right there at the top of the class.

Enough about me…  I want to address the problems that are my Mom’s fault.

Blue eye shadow and red and I mean really, really red lipstick are my mom’s fault.  How?  Because she said I was too young for makeup.  Of course this sent me right to Rinks Bargain City with my allowance to buy the blue eye shadow crayon and bright red lipstick, promptly put it in my school bag and clean faced got on the bus each morning.  It was a mad dash to the restroom to apply my bright baby blue eye shadow crayon and red lipstick before school started and another mad dash back to the restroom to clean it all off before missing the school bus ride home.  Yep… it was her fault that a few of my peers made fun of my application techniques.  Of course what is a 5^th grader supposed to do when she can’t practice at home?  Yep, my clown face and rebellion against being told “no” were all her fault.

That was just the tip of the iceberg.  There were the Lilt Home Permanents that smelled like ammonia for days afterwards… I’d succumb to the desire to look like the girls in Teen Magazine  and ask for a perm… well knowing what would happen, but… Mom again didn’t say “no” and I paid the price by looking like I had a Brillo Pad on my head for a few weeks until it grew out and relaxed, and I got the fried ends trimmed off.  It wasn’t her technique, she knew what she was doing, but she also knew what Lilt Home Permanents did to your hair, and she gave me the perms anyway.  My Brillo-head was her fault.

Of course any time Mom said “no” I’d have to find away to do what “I” wanted to do anyway.  If she hadn’t said “no” there wouldn’t have been any problems, no rebellion, life would be good.  But… she said “no” so it was all her fault.

Then there were times when she actually encouraged me.  She didn’t have to say “no” because she was secretly plotting against me.  Either it was reverse psychology, or she genuinely hoped I would succeed.  So, with permission I’d jump into whatever I was being encouraged to do.  Of course that automatically made any and all failures I achieved her fault too.  After all, she encouraged me.  You would have thought that one of us would have figured it out, but nope… yet another generation of dysfunction that of course made it even easier to screw up my own kids.

You would think over time she and I would outgrow this cycle… I mean I’m nearly 47 years old, so you know we are both old enough to know better.  Somehow we still do a little bit of the same dance.  Over the last several years now my life has been flipped upside down in a succession of problems and of course it is my Mom’s fault.  I can be very dysfunctional without anyone’s help but Mom just has to encourage me…

When I came home from the workplace and was a full-time homemaker again she suggested I get a computer and get internet.  After a lengthy period I broke down and got a computer.  I became very proficient at playing solitaire… I did do a little genealogy, but it was mostly fun and games.  Eventually it did get boring though.  I pretty much let the computer collect dust for a while.  My life was pretty well as balanced as a bi-polar multi-generation dysfunctional person could be.

Mom couldn’t leave well enough alone… she forced me to break down and get internet.  I had no choice after all.  Solitaire had gotten boring and I didn’t have much else going on.  I was starting the homeschooling process with my youngest son and therefore I “needed” internet.  It is a miracle my son learned a single thing that year we did the homeschooling.  After all, there was a lot of stuff on the internet about homeschooling and I needed to become proficient enough to “teach” my son.  Somehow despite me he did get a diploma… it was hard I’m sure, but he can say with true conviction “It’s my Mom’s fault”.   Anyhow, I became an internet addict… and after a while it got kind of boring sitting there waiting for the voice to say “You’ve got mail”.  My inability to get up and do things rather than set in a chair with my hand on the mouse after all, was her fault.

Again, she couldn’t leave well enough alone and introduced me to facebook , it did take more encouragement on her part this time, after all my excessive internet use was her fault and I was a bit gun shy.  However, I finally succumbed to the prodding and entered the world of social networking.  Did you know you can access games on facebook?  Anyway, I got hooked on it.  It was her fault.

She talked me into starting a blog.  I have goals and high standards when I take on a task.  I spent every single day adding something new to my blog, writing, planning, and laying out, changing layouts, etc. for 3 whole months.  I never missed a daily post and occasionally there were 2 posts in one day.  This new project was quite time consuming, especially trying to keep up with my social network.  Now I’m juggling two things… It’s my Mom’s fault.

Did I mention there are games on facebook?

Again, she knowing I don’t do anything half way once I get involved with it… introduced me to Swag Bucks.  She hadn’t even joined herself but thought it would “be good for me” because I could make a little money while on the computer instead of being obsessed with my game ‘City of Wonder’ which took precedence over everything else, after all my crops and manufactured items needed tending to and life was on a timer.  I guess it was her guilt relieving attempt to get me out of my little wonder world and do something a little more useful with my life.  After all, facebook has games. Anyway, I had succeeded about as far as I could go with my city of Wonder… to the point that other people asked me for help on a regular basis and I gained the name of “Yoda of City of Wonder” from those I played the game with on this social network she introduced me to.  It was her fault.

Did I mention that at this point I didn’t have time to blog, and the blog died?   I got distracted with games on facebook.   It’s my Mom’s fault.

Anyway, I finally (after some prodding) decided to join Swag bucks and I shifted from gaming to swagging.  To reach my “personal” daily goal with my eyes glued to the prize (my personal favorite being Amazon.com gift cards) which I could trade these Swag Bucks for took a great deal of time.  Now Swag bucks is only as time consuming as you want it to be… but I don’t do things half-way.   I left City of Wonder for “SwagNation”.  My goals were high and it requires time, a lot of time.  I after all had goals.  All this time spent making my way to my goals caused neglect in other areas of my life (again).  It is my Mom’s fault.

I was starting to get ‘leveled out’ and find a little more time – after all, I don’t do anything half way and once I figured this Swag Bucks thing out I was able to reduce the amount of time I spent on it a wee bit.  I went and started this blog (the old one wasn’t “good enough” for my high standards).  It had been months since I wrote anything, but off I went.  Social networking, Swagging, and blogging… my life was pretty full... thanks to my Mom.

Mom just can’t leave well enough alone though… somehow I ended up on Pinterest.   So I now find myself trying to balance social networking, swagging, blogging, and Pinterest and it’s now 5:00 in the morning and I've pried myself away from Pinterest long enough to write something for my blog before I go to bed… IF I go to bed.  Of course the side effect of one of my medications is insomnia which gives me even more time for my virtual world.  Dear husband will be up in a couple of hours… I may decide to try and fry him an egg if I’m not in a self induced into a coma by then.

Anyway… I have found Pinterest and I can’t stop.  I don’t know if there is a Pinterest Anonymous yet or not, if not there probably should be, I know I am not alone in this sick addiction.  I’m juggling a lot of things in my virtual life now.  It is very annoying to have to stop from time to time to do a load of laundry or fix something to eat.  I’ve got things to do, I've got things to pin. There are new things to get Pinterested in, and I must continue to Swag as I have found it’s a good way for me to build up enough to buy things we need, and a gift or two that I otherwise wouldn’t be able to do.  Life is FULL.  I am thankful my medication has the side effect of insomnia or I’d never get to a point where I can stop long enough to close my eyes in get some Zzzz’s on occasion.  I wouldn’t be in this virtual mess however if it hadn’t been for my Mom’s well intended encouragement.  Reality being what it is (and I don’t like it much – virtual is much better in my opinion) I have to tell the truth.  All of this is my Mom’s fault.

Yeah, right.